Dilshad 0:00

Welcome to the Delicious Dignity Podcast. Let's settle in securely and ever so nicely into the brilliance of our own dignity. Anais Nin once said, And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Welcome to the Unfolding Sessions, yet another series within the Delicious Dignity podcast. I love all these themes coming through. Unfolding Sessions are real client sessions, but with a twist. The sessions are targeted to one question. What is unfolding for me now? Or what is my next unfolding? Or as one of my ex-teachers used to say, what are my next set of life instructions? I often do special offers exclusively to my newsletter subscribers, and this call to an unfolding session was one of them. So for someone to raise their hand and say, yes, I'd like to go deep into myself and do it in such a public way is extremely brave of them. And I really, really, really honor our guests for doing so. So this session, this episode, this shows you what it's like to have an intuitive conversation over a purely logical one. It shows you what it's like to take a few hours out of your day to enjoy diving deep into your spirit, exploring, being curious, and just having a break from the everyday monotony with just an intuitive, deep experience. I don't know about you, but every time I listen to others tuning into their intuition, it makes it easier for me to tune into mine. So have fun, be open, be curious, and let's dive in. Hi, Alex. Welcome to the Delicious Dignity podcast.

Alex 2:05

Thank you for having me on. I'm really excited to be here. I've got a lot of respect for you and the work you do. So I'm very excited and honored to be here.

Dilshad 2:13

Thank you. And as I was telling you, you're the first guest on the show, the first unfolding session on the show. And you've been very patient with me as I figured this all out. So thank you.

Alex 2:23

You're welcome. This is my first time being on a podcast. So we'll just do this together. Yay.

Dilshad 2:28

Okay. I told you, I want to start by asking you to just introduce yourself however you wish and tell people who you are.

Alex 2:35

Okay. Yeah. And I think since we're going to talk about what's unfolding for me, I should probably start at the beginning, give you some background about me and my story. And if I get too long winded, feel free to interrupt me. But my name's Alex. I'm from a small town in Missouri. I'm the youngest of three kids. My siblings are a lot older than me. So about 10 years older than me. Interesting. They're born on the same day, two years apart, which is kind of different. But anyway, our parents They're big on us, like going to church every Sunday, send us to Catholic school, even though I really wasn't a big believer in that and that really clicked for me. They wanted us like playing sports, getting good grades, all those types of things, that type of family environment. Then I went off to college and I met my wife, Claire. So I met in college, dated in college. Then after I graduated, I signed a contract to play professional basketball over in Europe. So I went like overseas to do that. And we drifted apart a little bit. But then after I was done, I got a job back in the US. And I came back to a different city. And it just so happened like Claire was in that same city. So we reconnected. And then as things happen, our oldest daughter was eventually born. So we're like in this city, you've got this little family. Fast forward a few years later, and I'm really wanting my own business. I've been talking about it like nonstop, thinking through every little thing about it. And finally, Claire's like, if you're going to do this, you should just do it. Stop talking about it. Do it. I took out a loan that was really scary for me to do to buy a business. And the business was two states away in Colorado. We're living in Missouri, buy a business in Colorado. And then we eventually moved there. So a few things happened after that. One is COVID hit. And one of the things that allowed me to do was get my business to run like remotely. And so I found out I really enjoyed working from home like during that time. Another thing happened is we had two more kids. So now we've got this family of five away from our extended families and we wanted to be like closer to our extended families. We ended up after being in Colorado for four years, we moved back to Missouri, but my business like is still in Colorado. The other thing that, you know, is important for me that happened then is i started to see things like in a radically different way than i did before and i know some people will call that like an awakening to me it more so felt like a series of realizations that gave me like threads to pull that or like a trail of breadcrumbs something like that i keep pulling at these threads and it's really in a meaningful way transformed like me as a person and how i see things and there's all kinds of things and i And I'm at this point in my life now where another big change might be needed and that we've been talking about this other big change at the same time that I had the opportunity to come on this podcast. So the timing just feels really good to do this.

Dilshad 5:50

What a synchronistic story you have. It's just filled with synchronicities or siblings. And then with Claire, it's just such a fantastic story. Actually, you've lived.

Alex 6:03

Yeah. And it's like a story of, When I listen to my own words, it's a story of there's movement in there. And that's the thing that brought me to this to today is like, there might be another move that might be needed. And that's one of the things I was hoping to talk about. But

Dilshad 6:20

yeah, we'll see what comes out. And then we'll also check in on this move thing that you're talking about. You touched upon something that I actually wanted to record a podcast about is this thing called like styles of enlightenment. I touched upon it in episode eight when I was just like What does enlightenment even mean? And you described it perfectly for you. Like it was a series of realizations and experiences that got you to a completely new perspective and a completely new person. And for me, sometimes my awakening felt more like just all of a sudden I wake up and I'm no longer the same person I was when I went to bed.

Alex 6:56

And for me, like being so polar opposite of the things I'm learning, I don't know if it could have been an all at once thing. It might have just shifted. It's been to this day, this ebb and flow of like, all right, we're learning and exploring this part of your life and this part. And it's just

Dilshad 7:20

been, it's still a journey for me. bam, this bomb. And honestly, my favorite style of awakening is like slow, very kind, very gentle realizations. I don't think most of us can handle the big kahuna.

Alex 7:47

Yeah, that's funny. You mentioned food. Have you ever had like dates, you know, the fruit?

Dilshad 7:52

Yeah, so they look like cockroaches to me.

Alex 7:54

Yes, I hated them before. And then all of a sudden, I've started to love them so much that I have to stop myself from eating them. Just been this weird change in I guess, to but they're like one of my favorite things to eat now.

Dilshad 8:08

Yeah, we start craving these foods that are really good for us. And it's almost as if intuitive eating becomes easier with every successive awakening. I don't know if you've noticed that.

Alex 8:20

My wife used to see my diet of like, I'd sit down and eat a whole bag of pizza rolls or something and like a big thing of Pepsi. And now it's like just totally different. So it's, yeah, that feels good. The dieting part of it. You've

Dilshad 8:35

inspired So yeah, let's just get into it. The first thing I'll just have you do is we'll just imagine that we're in like a little temple and we're opening up the temple space because we just want to be sacred. We want to be kind to our soul and we just want to be lovely about this and not try to push our way through. So in order to do that, I'll just have you wiggle your toes. So if you can just wiggle them, that's just an invitation for you to just be with us. where you're at and wiggle them. And you can have a soft smile on your face, which is inviting, like you're inviting your own soul to come through more clearly and more directly than it does in the everyday monotony and humdrum of life. And then when you're ready, just call yourself in. So just silently, just say your full name to yourself silently three or four times. And you're just calling yourself in even more. Okay. And now I'll just ask you to set your intention in whatever way you choose. So you can ask what is unfolding for me. You can ask the question in any way, shape or form, however it comes through for you. This part, if you can say that out loud, that would be great.

Alex 10:00

I'm asking what's unfolding for me. What's the next thing that I need to learn? Yeah, what's unfolding for me is a good question I'd like to ask.

Dilshad 10:11

This is really funny and beautiful because the first question I always ask is where are we starting from? What is your set point from where you are unfolding? And it's so beautiful because your set point right now is one of intimacy, togetherness, and just being on purpose and actually just living a lovely life. And you may not see it that way, or sometimes we forget to see it that way, but overall, there's a real kind of loveliness, almost like romancing of life and of other people. And there's an element of romance coming through. And it's not just romance with your wife, but romanticizing and romancing everything. This is like the energy of in the Vedic tradition, they call it the bhakti. In the Islamic tradition, they'd call it the Sufi. These are people who are just in love with God, love being their first language.

Alex 11:07

Wow, that's really beautiful.

Dilshad 11:09

Yeah. So is that what you're feeling or sensing or is that like totally out of left field for you?

Alex 11:16

Like I said, it kind of ebbs and flows for me. Some days it feels like I'm living in a constant state of chaos with three kids and all the stuff we're doing. But other days it does feel like that. And I feel like this weekend I've been in more of a state like that. And yeah, I really like that. Our world is very small right now. It's my like immediate family. We're doing our thing and there's a lot of together time. My wife just takes care of our kids and our home and everything. And I work from home. So So it's a lot of this like small, like we're in our home a lot and then we go out like together and things. It's definitely a very family atmosphere right now.

Dilshad 11:54

Yeah. And it's like a togetherness. There's like an intimacy and what you're calling small is what I'm sensing as intimacy. It's very intimate. There's no, oh, I'm going to build my empire and conquer the world. There's like, oh, I'm going to be intimate with everyone and everything around me. And

Alex 12:14

yeah, I would say since our circles is so small right now. It's a lot of just like our immediate family. Like we really are intimately getting to know each other all around each other so much. And that's, there is a kind of romanticized aspect of that.

Dilshad 12:27

Yeah.

Alex 12:29

Kids are only small once and spending a lot of time with them and together right now.

Dilshad 12:34

Yeah. And I think if anyone were to start from any place to unfold, this would be the place. If you look at it that way, if we had to choose, if we had to pick anybody's set point on this planet for That would be the perfect foundation. We all know what it's like when we start from a shaky foundation.

Alex 12:53

Yeah. And I think, did you say it feels like being like in love with God or something like that? Did I hear that? Which is so funny because I think I mentioned I went to Catholic school for 12 years, which is great for a lot of people that really clicks for them. I was a total atheist up until just a few years ago. When I say this is a totally like different version of myself, like it really is. That's good to hear because I do feel very different about like God and spirituality now than I ever did before.

Dilshad 13:23

Yeah, for you, God is love, period. God is romance, period. I would wonder if you were to tune in to look up a video of a Sufi. God is ecstasy. It's a really beautiful place. There's the physical aspect of it where you have that intimacy. Then there's also the spiritual aspect of intimacy that you have going on. Just beautiful place to start from, Alex. Oh my God.

Alex 13:48

It sounds good. Yeah, we've been doing a lot. My wife and I have been on this journey at the same time, kind of seeing things differently. To me, it's been a very unique thing for us to go through this together. I honestly don't know that I could have done this, gotten to even the place I'm at now on my own I think that having someone else that like is going through similar things is just hugely important for me and this like transformation I'm very grateful that she's been doing this with me

Dilshad 14:18

yeah it always sucks when one partner is going in one direction and the other one's going in the other and have you both flowing together again another aspect of intimacy

Alex 14:28

and don't get me wrong there's lots of friction between us like between me and everyone around us like you have daily fun Yeah. And

Dilshad 14:38

that's like the high picture, right? Sometimes when I do these readings, I'm like, this is how God sees you, which in our little human cells, we might not be able to see that as the larger picture. You know, what's really cool about being in this space is that this is a wonderful place to start something new. It's a wonderful place to new partnerships, business partnerships, friend partnerships, partnerships with your kids, partnerships everywhere, because that's kind of what you're exuding at the moment and I think that's why you even came on this podcast in a way oh

Alex 15:11

yeah maybe and that's where we're at it's like what's next my wife wants to start some sort of I don't know, a business, but she always says like the point of the business can't be to make money. It has to be to like help other people. And at some point in the future, I think in the near future, I think our kids will be old enough that we'll be ready to do something else like that, like a new type of venture or whatever. We've been talking about just moving to a place where there's more like land. We want to be even closer to where like our families are. We're already a little bit closer than we were in Colorado, but we're talking about going like even closer and doing like getting a farm it's close there she wants like horses and was talking about like horse therapy for children with special needs and I don't know just bouncing a lot of ideas off each other right now things like that oh

Dilshad 16:00

my god what I love about you and your wife is that you're always so aligned and intuitive and I don't think you both even realize or give yourself enough credit for it it's really funny okay so I want to talk about what you just said and I want to talk about this business and this land more specifically but let's start with the gen unfolding now that we've gotten a good baseline, is that from this place of partnership and intimacy, there is an element of justice work coming through. Justice is a big word. It's not about law. It's not about any of those things, although it could manifest as a law degree or a policeman or even a firefighter, but it involves a sense of balancing opposing forces, but also at the same time, knowing how to wield spiritual power in a way that affects not only you positively, but other people around you. So whether it's horse therapy with disabled people or children, whether it's horse therapy with veterans, or whether it's horse therapy with anyone really, or whether it's therapy of any kind, you're still benefiting other people in a way that sort of makes them whole. And that's the whole point of justice. Like you have this whole King Solomon thing coming through. I don't know if you've ever read stories of King Solomon and this like wise old soul who just knows how to judge and come up with solutions that actually reveal the truth of a matter. Because that's the highest potential of justice. The lowest potential of justice is law. And then the highest is truth telling and making people whole.

Alex 17:37

Interesting. Yeah, I don't know a lot about King Solomon or anything like that. But justice. Yeah, that's interesting. I'm gonna have to think about that. Yeah. And I work in the finance industry, financial services, and I've been learning about just some like alternative things with that too. Like how the laws are written with like finance and certain things that are, people might say are a little different, a little out of, they don't quite understand like things that are maybe, I don't know, concealed in a way that can help bring like freedom to people once they understand them. It's just a different thread that I'm pulling at. But when you said justice, I was like, Oh, what am I learning about all these different types of trusts and common law and things like that. So

Dilshad 18:26

you're literally looking at law right now. That's what you're doing. You know, I'm

Alex 18:30

reading books. Yeah, like the truth of how these things are set up.

Dilshad 18:36

And I feel like whatever you learn, you will be able to find an audience that will actually respect what you've learned and benefit from what you've learned. So you might do this is just Just an example, because I am not a finance person, but for example, investing for women who are interested in eco-conscious companies, just as an example, because especially with women, there's like a lot of barrier to entry in the investing world or investing for people who have low income and how do they start? And you know what I'm saying? And then there's working with the system and then there's truth and then there's making people whole. And you've got all those things coming through. Follow that thread because it's a pretty big thing. thread that's unfolding so my guess is you'll be doing this for months if not years like pulling at this thread but pull it keep pulling it to its maximum let me stop there what do you think of all of that

Alex 19:30

Yeah, what I've started this thing with what I'm learning as far as these certain courses and books I'm reading, like it will take years for me to really see these things come to like light. And then if I were to help someone else do it, like I would have to, it would be a few years down the road from this, I think, because I need to see these things come to pass for me before I can help someone else do them. That is a long road that I've started. And I don't know how that relates to what my wife and I are talking about with like a farm and

Dilshad 20:02

horses and things like that.

Alex 20:04

My wife and I, our skill sets are very different, but I feel like when we come together on a project, it works so much better than if just one of us were doing them. I think our skills blend well together whenever we're not fighting about the details on that. So when we're aligned on it and moving in the same direction, things usually work well when we're together on them.

Dilshad 20:26

Yeah. I think that you'll find a way to merge the two. Maybe you'll have little finance courses for people who come to the therapy because they've got Money trauma. That's an example. There's so many ways you could combine things together, but maybe right now don't think about combining them because then you'll get muddled. You support her and what she wants to do and do the thing with her, but then also follow this thread on your own as well. Don't rush to combine anything right now. Just do a little bit of everything that you guys want to do, but keep pulling this whole justice energy theme going on, which is, and that truth telling and everything else and raising it up. Because the next unfolding for you is a kind of a leave behind. There's something you need to let go of and move. It feels like it's a retreat. It feels like it's an actual move, but it feels like you're retreating away from everything that you have built already. This whole thing of you moving to the farm or moving to this place with land is actually actually a beautiful thing if you're not so sad and disappointed and you don't see it as a loss. Because that element of loss and disappointment and kind of dissatisfaction with the way things are, that's not a good energy to go from. It's kind of weird to say to somebody, don't think that way. So they end up thinking that way. But it's not really a disappointment. This is like a spiritual move. This is like an energetic move. It won't make sense logically So don't try to make it make sense logically.

Alex 22:09

That's so right how you said that. Because we went and looked at a farm the other day and we're out there and I was like, my soul just needs to be in a place like this, away from the city, in a place like this. But the frustration is we just set up our lives in this other place. And now we're just being pulled somewhere else. And I'm like, we can't keep moving all the time. That means that my daughter who just started middle school will have to change schools and all the things. That would be the frustration part that you described is just set everything up here.

Dilshad 22:45

Yeah, and it's never easy for kids. I guess in a way, Arguably, it could be easier when they're younger than they're older, depending upon the kid. But at the same time, just remember you and your partner set the tone for how they will perceive what they're perceiving. And to not set this tone of like, oh my God, here we go. And more like, well, we have to go on a spiritual journey now. It's not going to make any logical sense. It's going to be like we're leaving behind everything we know, whereas we are going to feel like kids, like beginners, and I don't enjoy that feeling. You have to learn to enjoy that feeling because you're going to be a beginner in so many ways.

Alex 23:25

I think they would really enjoy being in a place like that, learning these things as we learn them. There'd be a huge learning curve for us, but it's something that's exciting for me. And something that I'm learning about myself is when I feel excited about something, like to keep going with that until like I'm no longer feeling that way. I don't know if that's a way of following your intuition, but it's like, what is exciting for you right now? And keep going with that. And that's something I'm trying to get myself to do. And this type of thing feels exciting. It feels like something that I should be doing.

Dilshad 23:59

Yeah, people often don't trust joy because joy makes them vulnerable. It's easy to just be a negative Nancy or just be skeptical about everything because skeptical means that you have your ducks in a row. There was this interview, I'm just remembering, this interview with this ex-CIA agent I was watching the other day. For what reason, I have no idea. But he talked about something very interesting from his point of view. He said that the CIA loves people who have high anxiety. because first of all they can see all of the different pieces that are going to happen might happen and then also they're a little more easily controlled when we stop choosing from anxiety and we're following joy it's a brand new way of living life and it's more open and it's more vulnerable and it feels wrong because we've been conditioned to think the more anxiety the more we think about a million things that could go wrong that means we're prepared

Alex 24:54

that's exactly me that would be what my wife would tell you is stop focusing on all the things that could happen it almost feels like I'm not doing my part if I don't look at all the potential like pitfalls but that isn't what I should be doing I feel excited about something like this I should show myself all the ways it could work and that it could be like a good thing for us I definitely do sometimes focus on what could go wrong instead of what would bring me like joy in this situation

Dilshad 25:23

let's make it easy Just this one time for this one particular situation, just follow the excitement. We can give you back your anxiety and all of the worrying and all of the contemplation for all of the things that could go wrong for every other situation. You get to keep it. Let's not try to eliminate this from you because that's only going to make you more anxious. But just this one situation, as far as this move is concerned, I'm not saying don't look at everything, but I'm just saying saying, understand that where you're going, you just don't even have the experience to predict what could go wrong.

Alex 26:02

Yeah, that's a very good point. I don't even know what could go wrong, so why worry about it?

Dilshad 26:07

Yeah, just for this one thing, just follow the excitement. Just follow the little bunny that pops up and hops around like Alice in Wonderland.

Alex 26:15

Yeah, that sounds good. And I think I'll take your advice on that.

Dilshad 26:19

Yeah, this is very Alice in Wonderland-y in a way. Nothing makes sense. Everything is topsy-turvy But yeah,

Alex 26:29

it is an adventure. done before. I don't know, but it excites me.

Dilshad 26:58

Yeah. And because even when I keep asking the same question, what is this next unfolding? It's really just all about change. And it just keeps coming up as change, change, change, change, change, change, change. And he's not going to like it tough.

Alex 27:11

And I wonder what else is going to change for me.

Dilshad 27:14

I think it informs everything that you do this move because it's like your home base, but this home is so much more than a home. It's an instruction in life. And I feel like it just informs everything you do from your finances and everything else. But I do think that this change needs to happen. You need to devote a little bit more energy to this change than you already are doing. And it may feel like a shock to your system and just expect that doesn't mean that it's bad. It's just so different from anything you've ever done before. In a way, it can feel a little bit shocking, but that's really what keeps coming through for your unfolding. So that part is complete. Now, do you want to look at something specific? I know that was not the point of the session, but you're in this change, lovely, romantic energy. I'm like, let's take advantage of this.

Alex 28:02

Yeah, I'm trying to think I could ask a million questions about my kids, my wife, my like, family, like my parents and siblings.

Dilshad 28:12

Is that coming from a what could go wrong worrywart place? Which is the place that you find most exciting to talk about? Let's practice for this.

Alex 28:22

Okay. Okay. All right. Because yeah, some of that is like, what are questions I want answered so I can stop worrying?

Dilshad 28:31

Yeah, just this one Let's practice. What are some of the questions that you would ask if you were to follow your excitement?

Alex 28:39

but where to follow my excitement.

Dilshad 28:41

Challenging, wow.

Alex 28:44

Yeah, let's talk about career then. That's a part of my life. I spend a lot of time on my business. I often wonder, is there something else that I could be doing that would bring me more joy or what would be a good path for me there?

Dilshad 28:59

So in your business or just in your career, let's just look at overall work in the world, things that you're exchanging for money. There just seems to be like so much competition competition, so much fighting, and that could be internal, but also external. There just seems to be like a lot of competing priorities that could be internal, that could also be external. And also with the way you're using your energy, it's not focused, it's scattered, and it's almost contradictory. It's like parts of you are arguing with each other and trying to, okay, so what's the remedy for this? Focus. And don't enter into any competitive energies, whether that's direct competition or in Because that's just not you. And I feel like it takes you out of this intimate, romantic place that is your natural tendency to be in right now. Let me pause there. What do you think of that?

Alex 30:09

work that is probably the most competitive thing you can do other than play sports. So it's been this theme.

Dilshad 30:16

And

Alex 30:17

then all of a sudden I was like, I got the message about like this hyper competitiveness is not good for you. I actually got that message. Was it a year ago? I was playing in a like basketball league. And the night before this happened, my wife and I woke up, the doors on our house were like shaking. Whoa. woke us up, like loud bang, doors are shaking, get our attention. The next day I'm playing this basketball league and I tear my Achilles, like totally sever it. And now I can't play basketball anymore. And around the same time, my oldest daughter had made me this little like clay figurine, right? In school. And it was me with a basketball. And then the basketball breaks off. I now have this little figurine on my desk that's just like me without the basketball.

Dilshad 31:10

You cannot make this shit up, can you? You cannot make this up. How could you even make this up? I'm so sorry, by the way, you tore your Achilles heel. And here I am so excitedly responding to you. But do you see, you have in some ways a lot of synchronicities. I think I said this at the beginning of this session. You just naturally attract a lot of synchronicities. And the house shaking for any normal person would just be the house shaking. But for you, it was like, pay attention.

Alex 31:40

Yes. But I didn't realize it was to pay attention to that until after it happened. But in hindsight, yes, it was a clear message.

Dilshad 31:49

Yeah. I trained as a life coach and in her methodology, one of the things she says is if sometimes people can't understand what's going on in their life, then they should describe their house. And based on what their house is doing, that's what's happening in their life. This whole house shaking thing that was so apropos. So going back to what you're talking about, competition, especially for someone with a dominant hormone of testosterone and the people who are just naturally in that state, competition can be very inspiring. It can be very passionate. It can inspire you to be better. It can make you happy, but I think you just take it too far. Yeah. Yeah. So for you, whenever the competition stops being inspiring and starts being draining to the point to which you get scattered, that's your red alert system. With that being said in your career right now, what is feeling like a drain?

Alex 32:44

I would say it's all the different ways I'm like pulled in different directions. So my day is like this overall theme of like competition, gaining new accounts and working not to lose other accounts. It's a high volume of tasks that I'm working on throughout the day. It really is like I'm scattered. It's exactly what you said. It's I'm just scattered all over the place, just going like 100 miles an hour, trying to compete in a way. I'm sure that's not good for me. I'm sure that's not great overall for me to just be doing that. So for me, I'm trying to do all of that and then slow down and go for a walk or meditate or something. And then I'm going back into this same type of environment. I think you said energy is like being conflicted or something within me.

Dilshad 33:34

Let's just assume, which I don't think is entirely true, but let's just say for argument's sake that the tasks you do are absolutely essential to your career. Let's just say for argument's sake, all of them are absolutely essential. Is there any way you can delegate some of that to someone else? Either you hire an assistant or do you work with anyone? This is your business or this is your job? I can't.

Alex 33:57

My business.

Dilshad 33:58

Your business. Okay.

Alex 33:59

Yeah, I have employees, but I could probably hire more employees to take more off of my plate because I could, in theory, delegate most of what I do. Oh,

Dilshad 34:10

then there you go. I think part of being King Solomon is you you taking a position of authority, but not necessarily execution.

Alex 34:20

Okay. I could do that. Yeah.

Dilshad 34:22

You're making the rulings, but then you trust that they're going to be executed by the people involved and by the people responsible to do those things. Investigate this part of you that wants to have your hands in all the pots.

Alex 34:35

That's it. I think a lot of people feel this way is this fear of like delegating or not being involved enough and then things going to shit for lack of a better word there's that and then there's also the like being able to provide for my family if I hire more people then it's like that takes away from my ability to provide for my family so those are probably the two reasons I haven't done that more

Dilshad 35:01

when you say hire more people that did not feel like the right path it felt more like delegate to the people that are already there and spread it across them

Alex 35:10

okay

Dilshad 35:10

or you hire a temp assistant so they work a set hours they're not a full-time employee they're more like a contractor

Alex 35:19

like a part-time person

Dilshad 35:20

yeah like they 20 hours a week they take care of admin tasks or you spread it across the people that already work there are there five people or they're more

Alex 35:32

five including me

Dilshad 35:33

yeah okay because that number five shows up so I don't see a sixth person it's just very much like five and whatever energy is The five of you have work to stop any kind of competition between the five of you, if there is any. You give equal amounts of attention to everyone or you give equal amounts of praise to everyone. Maybe you have a team meeting that raises each person's something that they did that you noticed. Just easing any competition energy.

Alex 36:04

Okay, that's a good idea.

Dilshad 36:07

Because this also feels like there's something also within the organization that needs to be calmed. Like that intimacy thing you got going on, you can bring that pretty easily inside your company too. Let me stop there. What do you think of that?

Alex 36:20

Yeah, I think that that's exactly what's needed. It's how to best kind of spread things around so that I'm not doing so much and feeling so scattered when I'm working. And then, yeah, bringing some more intimacy, I think, into my business. Kind of got away from doing that. We had a lot of turnover for a while. People would leave or quit or whatever. And it just burned me out a little bit. I'm not doing some of those same things that would bring intimacy into that setting as I was before. But I think it would be really helpful if I did. I

Dilshad 36:56

think they might have left because of that kind of contradictory competition energy. Because some people just can't handle. They shouldn't have to either. They don't want to. What you could do is that the way you do it is like maybe set up a team call and be like, I set up this call because to be honest with you, I'm taking on too much. And this is your company, right? You're the CEO. Right, yeah. As a CEO, I would like to delegate more to all of you because I trust you to handle these tasks. And these are the tasks that I would like to delegate. I have come up with an initial assessment of which task is best suited to whom, but you are free to tell me if you would like this, not like this. And just so you know, these reviews are coming up and I would like to talk to you individually to see what you're interested in pursuing. That could also be a way you do it. And that brings a little bit more intimacy. It doesn't have to be like this big cuddle kumbaya fest either.

Alex 37:55

Sure. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. That's good. I just feel like sometimes I get feedback that they're like overwhelmed. So I'm almost like, maybe I do need to hire somebody else. And that's why I'm taking a lot of the work in myself when I'm there or when I'm like sitting at my desk doing it. Maybe I'm misreading that. Maybe I could spread things out to the people I already have or delegate some tasks in that way. Yeah.

Dilshad 38:22

And you could increase their pay just a little bit. So that way you don't have a full employee or half the salary of another sixth employee. You spread it across the five. However you want to do that, right? There are many ways you can do it or you can hire a contractor.

Alex 38:37

Yeah. Yeah.

Dilshad 38:39

And you can start there. And then after you start there, maybe then you say, okay, I hire a sixth person. That's up to you, but at least just talk to people individually because they might want to give you a task and exchange a task. And that task that they exchange with you is actually far easier and less draining on you than what you're giving them.

Alex 39:00

Okay. Yeah, that's, that's definitely food for thought. to breathe, I think is a good thing for me.

Dilshad 39:33

The other thing could also be that you need to simplify your organization a little bit more. Maybe there are repetitive tasks. Maybe you need software. Maybe there is too much overlap. Maybe there's too little overlap. So look at it from that picture too. What is the fat that I can just cut off? Maybe that could also involve changing the things that your company does and maybe focusing on one or two things as opposed to five things. Let's say, for example, this is just a silly example you offer five products, maybe you just whittle it down to three products. And you continue to support the customers that have those other two products that you cut off, but you don't get more customers for the three products. That's just an example. I don't know how your business model works, but that's another angle to think about when thinking about removing this contradictory energy.

Alex 40:22

Simplify. Okay.

Dilshad 40:24

Yeah. Don't be afraid of letting go of things because letting go and unfolding that we talked about could also be you letting Yeah. Not

Alex 40:35

every single phone call has to be answered.

Dilshad 40:39

You can go to voicemail. Okay. But the

Alex 40:51

message you're getting isn't that like a big career change is needed, like not a total change. It's more like some tweaks.

Dilshad 40:58

Yeah. Not yet. Let's put it that way. but it's a change in the way you operate in the world. That kind of simplicity that you have with spirit and spirituality, you're being asked to do that in your business and in a world that never has that. Because when things become complex, they really become hard to manage.

Alex 41:45

When I was listening to your podcast and you were talking about hustle culture and everything, that really resonated with me because that's something I'm just now being aware of. It was just the way I was brought up. is like, you have to keep doing this or keep striving for more. Or if you, if you like sit back and relax and just take it easy, that's not good. You need to be like doing things. So it's that kind of almost like hustle culture that I'm trying to break free of.

Dilshad 42:16

Yeah. That's definitely it. Contradictory energy, I think can be summed up in one word, which is hustling. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like no more hustling for you and other people also that Mm-hmm. And somehow you manage this really calm, it might be a smaller organization in terms of volume, but it will be good for you and everyone that you work with too. And then maybe over time that lets you ease the business or sell the business or do something else with it that leads you into this other area that you're probably going to end up with, I'm guessing.

Alex 42:53

And you said therapy work is like the message that you're getting.

Dilshad 42:58

Yeah, it's always some kind of therapy. Isn't it the first time we had a session? I remember saying something like that to you isn't that right

Alex 43:05

yeah I think you said you could see me working with people who maybe hit a really rough patch in their life or like we're at rock bottom or something that type of therapy

Dilshad 43:14

yeah

Alex 43:15

just I've never done anything like that that would be totally new for me

Dilshad 43:19

Thank you so much. who doesn't have the kind of language that you do. Like you can understand personal financing better than anyone, even though that might not be what you're actually doing right now.

Alex 44:02

Yeah.

Dilshad 44:03

Anything can be therapy. You're just going to be doing it in a way, again, that justice energy, like bringing it up a notch instead of just being like, for example, let's say a cow herder. Let's take a cow herder. Okay. They are herding cows. Yeah. But if we're focusing justice work as a cow herder now they're herding cows they're taking them to certain pastures that have become a little bit more eco-conscious in the way that they're done if they are slaughtering their cows they're doing it in an ethical way so they're taking it up a notch they're existing within a system but they're taking it up a few notches

Alex 44:41

right yeah that's how i get this feeling because i'm not in the self-help world not in the business of like spiritual work I'm very much just in the corporate world like a world that a lot of us recognize needs to change and then we're talking about doing things like starting something on a farm I don't know with as far as what I do now and my corporate work I think I could find a way to take that up to another level and I really think this move for us if we do move to like land and have a farm and stuff that somehow that just gets our creativity going and we find this path that we feel, but we don't know exactly how it looks. I just think that's the first step in opening some new path for us. Maybe that.

Dilshad 45:29

Yeah. That along with you simplifying your business somehow and simplifying your work with your business, both need to happen. Yeah. Really sit down and strategize for a few weeks before you even have a conversation with your employees. Because I feel like the answers will come to you. You are a bit stubborn as we all are, but you'll get the signs and it'll come to you. like everything else has in your life. You just have to listen.

Alex 45:52

Yeah. And I think you're right. I can't really start anything new until I simplify. So those two things do have to happen together.

Dilshad 46:00

Because then you'll take this hustling complexity, making everything very contradictory, and you'll take that energy and do something else with it. This is a nice place for you to learn and play, actually.

Alex 46:12

That's good to hear. Good to hear that I'm not crazy for wanting to uproot my family and

Dilshad 46:18

move

Alex 46:19

across the state.

Dilshad 46:20

Not at all. You're right on point as usual. You're pretty intuitive people. That's good to hear. Okay. So we went for an hour. I suspected this would happen, but I think you've got so many instructions, so many things to consider. Be careful what you ask for, as they say.

Alex 46:39

Yeah, that's right. I definitely appreciated the insight from you. it's good to hear good to get some feedback

Dilshad 46:46

I always ask for what kind of ritual would somebody really benefit with and this farm life is really coming through for you it's like working with animals

Alex 46:56

that's what we want we want animals on the farm

Dilshad 46:59

yeah and it's like you can start now you can volunteer at a shelter if there are animal sanctuaries you can just go visit one nearby in Seattle there was a wolf sanctuary and sanctuaries like that you could follow Okay.

Alex 47:42

Yeah, that's really true. Yeah, there's places you can horseback ride where we're at and

Dilshad 47:52

go see goats. five days we do something with animals or birds or even insects you could go to a butterfly sanctuary or

Alex 48:20

even just get out in nature like i got them to go for a hike yesterday we hadn't done that for a while it's the same thing it's like why wait to get into nature when you have a farm like why not just do it now like in the meantime too yeah

Dilshad 48:34

but this ritual specifically says animals birds or insects so there's like that relationship intimacy thing coming through again And this time with animals and other species that are not human. So try to put that as like a weekly ritual as a system in your family system and see how you can do that.

Alex 48:55

Yeah, I'll definitely do that.

Dilshad 48:56

Yeah, you're starting to live on a farm without living on the farm.

Alex 48:59

Yeah, there you go.

Dilshad 49:01

Yeah. And remember, because your point of attraction is the foundation from which you're unfolding this, if you follow this intimacy, romanticizing sort of energy, you're likely to get there further and faster and more efficiently with less stress than you are if you try to force yourself into it

Alex 49:21

yeah and i think you said give yourself permission to not look at all the things that could go wrong

Dilshad 49:27

yeah just for this one thing yeah just for this one decision worry about everything else full permission

Alex 49:34

all right

Dilshad 49:36

all right alex thank you so much do you feel complete by the way

Alex 49:39

i do yeah this is really what i was hoping to talk about today so I definitely feel like we covered it

Dilshad 49:45

okay yeah

Alex 49:46

thank you again

Dilshad 49:47

you're very welcome any last comments or thoughts

Alex 49:50

no just that I love the podcast that you're doing it's very honest I'm getting a lot out of it so keep up the good work

Dilshad 49:58

yay thank you so much which is your favorite episode so far can I ask

Alex 50:02

so far I'm on episode four and I've really enjoyed like hearing your story so far like you coming to the United States and these things that you've done because a lot of it really resonates with me a lot of the things i'm just sitting here laughing going that's the exact same thing someone told me so getting a lot from it

Dilshad 50:21

okay all right perfect it's the hustle episodes that you would say your favorite okay

Alex 50:25

that's what i'm on

Dilshad 50:26

it feels like that's like the most popular one so far okay maybe i should do more hustle culture episodes we'll see because there's so much hustling i try to do with the podcast and then i'm like no no i'm not gonna do this i'm not gonna do this and i had to hold myself back from doing that maybe i'll I'll talk about that next too. And they're really funny.

Alex 50:44

Yeah. Or just you talking about how you really took your time with planning out the podcast and looking at each little part of it and how that brought you joy to do that. That's how I felt planning some of these things like my business. I related to that as well.

Dilshad 51:00

Yeah. Thank you for saying that, Alex. Yeah. Oh, lovelies. Isn't it just exciting to grow, to expand, to bloom? I mean, yeah, it's a little bit scary and even a bit overwhelming. But at the end of the day, it is so exciting. Everything in nature grows and we also get to grow. And that's just, in a way, it's such a privilege that you can be in a position in your life where you're concerned about growing and not just surviving or not just... being stuck in the everyday humdrum. I think it's just, this is a gift that we get to use for ourselves and for other people. And don't you like his comment about hustle culture? Because I have been wanting to do more episodes on that because I can see that it's a really popular episode. And this is episodes four and five, if you don't know what I'm talking about. And one of the things that I'm learning this year and coming out of hustle culture is how to create and sustain or even just encounter relationships and partnerships with people in a way that is not based in transactional sort of relationships. It's based in this beautiful giving and receiving that doesn't feel like giving and receiving. It just feels like a constant receiving. It's like the relationships feed you as much as you feed it and even more, but you don't feel like you're giving anything. It just feels like it's constantly pouring into you. And that feeling, maybe the right way of saying this is that there's a fullness that you have instead of a drain. that you have with hustle culture. There's a fullness that you feel when you come out of hustle culture and you're focusing on relationships from that foundation of being in this, what I call, feel-good culture. Isn't that incredible? I didn't know that relationships like that could exist. I mean, I've seen pockets of it in different areas of my life, but now I'm almost insisting on those kinds of relationships in my business and in other areas of my life. It just feels like life pours into me to such an extent that I don't feel drained ever. Even if I have given of myself, I don't feel drained. For example, this episode that we just did, I didn't feel drained by it at all. Even though I did so much prep work, even though I put all of these things together, it did not feel like a drain. I feel almost a little bit high from it. And I've seen that signature in so many different kinds of partnerships and relationships with people as I am coming out of this space of hustle culture, especially in my business. I have a friend who's starting her own business or thinking of starting her own business, and she's synchronistically meeting all these people that uplift her and give her energy and give her power. And that's just such a beautiful thing to feel. And I really wish it for all of you. And even if you can just get 1% there and feel good culture, that's better than nothing at all. So yeah, if you're interested in doing an unfolding session with me, you can join my newsletter. If you just go to the episode description, There's a link to the ritual guide on my website. And if you go to that link for the ritual guide at the top of the website on the header, you'll see this menu button that says tune in. And when you click on that button, you can go subscribe to my newsletter. I say join my newsletter because I don't like putting out blanket calls for free sessions with clients on social media. I prefer that I put it out to people who are serious, not serious, but people who are intentional about this work. And so that's why I do it through the filter of my newsletter. And I will often send out a call for new offers or free offers or things like that on my newsletter for that reason. So my lovelies, in honor of Alex's unfolding, here's this episode's blessing. May you have the absolute audacity to joyfully follow what expands your dignity and the dignity of those around you. Much love to all of you. Thank you so much for being here. I so, you have no idea how much I love you. You have no idea. I wish I could explain to you how much I love you for being here. Thank you so much. Bye.