SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to the Delicious Dignity Podcast. Let's settle in securely and ever so nicely into the brilliance of our own dignity.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Hello, lovely listener. If my voice sounds a little bit different, it's because I'm just recovering from a cold. But for some reason, when I played my voice back and I did a few tests, it sounded fine to me. It sounded better to me. So anyway, here we are. So this is a four-part end of the year series. And this series is for those of you who really like to get the juice out of life. You like to pause to collect yourself, remember yourself, restitch yourself back into the fabric of your own life, if you will. And it's just because we all get lost in the turning of our lives and the everyday tasking of our lives. And the end of the year, even though it's an artificial calendar construct, it is still a time that offers to us the ability to just pause and reflect and really get the lessons, the patterns, the wisdom of the year before us, so we can go into the year after or the next year way more strong, way more potent, way more clear. In a way, it's like getting a second birthday, where every end of the year is another opportunity for you to rebirth or reinvent or just incarnate even more of yourself into your own existence. And every year, you just keep reincarnating, keep incarnating, I should say, more and more of yourself. So this is my favorite time of the year for this very reason. And for the past five years or so, I've been doing these end-of-the-year rituals, and they really truly have helped me so much in really getting, really understanding what happened in the year, what I can learn from it, and go into the next year wise and clear. So this episode is the first in the series, and this episode, we're beginning with our year-end ritual, with taking stock of all the good in 2025. And let me explain what I mean by all the good. I don't mean just the happy things, the fun things. There are other aspects of the word good that we're gonna delve into. And the reason we're starting here is because this creates a really firm foundation for the next three episodes where we will explore your year from different paradigms and different aspects of your life. So if this episode would be a phase of the year, it would be summer. It's a summer-inspired ritual. It's very summery. We're wearing our sun dresses and soaking up the sun. Or we're sweltering in the heat, however you want to look at it. But we're summering. The sun is out and we're really taking stock of the sun. For those of you who are naturally little sunshines, this summer part of our four-part series will be a piece of cake. But if I know some of my listeners at all, you have a sense of humor and you're sunny and you're positive with other people, but with yourself, it's a big goose egg, a big zero. Or in as in Hindi, we would say it's a big onda. Anda meaning egg in Hindi. So you're very hard on yourself and you almost never think you've done anything right. If I know you well, you're more comfortable being a critic, a self-critic, that is. And don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to be a critic in the next few episodes. But in this episode, that's not what we're doing. And you're more comfortable being a critic because you either think it makes you a better person in some way to criticize yourself and fix yourself, or you think it keeps you safe because it prevents you from making mistakes. And it is for you, and really anyone interested in this work that we that I really want to introduce you to two concepts before we begin the ritual. And the first concept I want to introduce you to is something called achievers amnesia. I want you to know this concept, is because it'll help you understand why sinking into the good of your life is actually probably the most important spiritual practice of your life. So let's look at achievers amnesia. It's a concept where we're referring to the tendency of really high-achieving people to forget or downplay all their accomplishments and focus on really just future goals or focus on all the mistakes. And what it really leads to is this constant feeling of self-doubt, and you're always burnt out, and you're you're unable to really truly feel the joy of the thing that you have accomplished. You maybe mostly feel a sense of relief after you've accomplished it, but the joy of it, you can't really get there because you're just historically just constantly forgetting or downplaying your accomplishments. You might not call this a clinical diagnosis, but it's definitely a bias that I've seen in people, and I've definitely seen it in myself, where we're just driven by the next thing, and that we constantly believe that we haven't done enough, despite evidence to the contrary. And where this starts to become a real problem is when our life is just filled with the next thing. So we've we push our entire being into the future, and we're always anticipating and living for the next anticipation. And this can be really hard on your nervous system. And this is what I would call your dignity abuser. So if we're talking about dignity, a really good way to rob yourself of that dignity is to have this constant inclination to downplay who you are and what you've become and what you've done. So I would love, oh, by the way, if you're really wanting to go deeper into some practical ways of how we abuse our dignity, it's episode one of this podcast, is when I go into the concept of a dignity abuser. And maybe listening to all the different inner critic voices, it might help you sink into your own and see it for what it is and put it on the side table, at least for this episode. I'd recommend that episode if you're interested. But anyway, I'm explaining this concept to you so that I would love for you to rebel against this complex where you think beating yourself up will get you any rewards or make you a better person. Just for this episode, I'm gonna give you a little bonk on the head and ask you to sacrifice your critic on the altar of your love. That was an that was a very poetic way to say that. And I didn't mean to sound so flowery, but there you go. Sacrifice your inner critic on the altar of your love just for this episode. The second concept I want to introduce you to is something called the negativity bias. This is again another cognitive bias that where even when positive or even neutral things occur, things that are more negative in nature will have a greater effect on your psychological state than neutral or positive things. Some people have this bias, some people don't, but I've seen a lot of high achievers and a lot of people who really want to dive deep into themselves. Those people have this high achieving thing, and those people often have a negative bias. And sometimes it's because we've seen other people have this toxically positive or ungrounded way of living, and we've seen how much chaos that creates in their own life and in other people's life. So we think we have to go into the other side of the pendulum, the other extreme of the pendulum, and become very focused on the things that could we're wrong or the things that are unpleasant, even though there are other things that are neutral or positive that have equal intensity or more intensity, but still it's the negativity that takes your attention. And it's not because you're a negative person or you're, you know, you're manifesting wrong and you don't have powers of manifestation and you're not high vibe. Please get rid of that language. Can we just have a petition to get rid of that language? No, it's not because of that. You have a negativity bias, at least for most people that I've seen have it. And for those I know who listen to this podcast, you have this negativity bias simply because you're just really hard on yourself. And you really want to protect yourself and the people around you, and you really want to be a good person. And for this episode, I'm daring you to see yourself as already good, already good, just the way you are. So I'm giving you these complexes and the language and the words because language can sometimes help us give a voice to our insides because we can't really see our insides. And sometimes we need to have words to give them form, to bring them on the outside, so that we can see what we truly think or feel. It's a good way to use labels. Instead of using it to divide or isolate ourselves from each other, we use them to understand or integrate things in order to help us get to where we want to be and be the person that we are more fully. And I'm also telling you these things so that you know that this is in fact a thing: achievers, amnesia, negativity, bias. And it's not just you, and it's not all in your head. It might be in your gut, but that's another episode entirely. It's not just you, is what I want to tell you. Okay, so with that conceptual understanding, now I want to go into the ritual aspect of your end ritual. And this ritual aspect, the first part will have a journaling ritual, and then the second part will be an active ritual. So something that you can do symbolically to really bring in the understanding and the wisdom of your 2025 year or whatever year you're listening to this on and bring it into your being more clearly and more fully. So we'll start first with a journaling ritual. Okay. So I'm going to ask you a few questions. And you can choose to pause between each question, which I highly recommend, or you can choose to listen to all of them and then go back and go through one question at a time. I will also have these questions in the ritual guide, which is attached to every podcast episode on this podcast, and you'll see it in the podcast description. And so you'll have all the questions there if you prefer to just listen first and then read the questions on your own and do your own journaling. The reason I highly recommend journaling as part of a ritual, any ritual that you do first, is because having a record of what you said, what you thought, what you felt is extremely important because this is a record of your life. We tend to forget things. And this journaling aspect of the ritual will help you do the next part of the ritual, which is the most active part of the ritual, more clearly because you'll have something to refer to. Yeah, that's what I have to say. Now you can either type your answers to these questions or you can write them down. Either way works, but again, I highly recommend that you actually do the journaling before you go into the second part, otherwise, you won't be able to do the second part. So, with that being said, let's start with the first question. And by the way, there are about seven questions, so just expect that as we go through. And for each question, I'll give you examples of my own life so that maybe that can help you understand your life because we're all mirrors for each other. Okay, so the first question is your highlight reel. Think of and write down ten things this year that has been the highlight of your year. 10 things that have that are just highlights. Let's not go, let's not over-architect this and just think of if your life in 2025 or whatever year you're listening to this from had highlight moments, the key moments, it had a trailer. What would those 10 things be? So for me, it would be the podcast, because I launched the podcast this year, and the podcast with all its different aspects, like interviewing guests, consistently posting, finding the right editor, really taking my time, the whole process of creating the podcast and coming it together. It's just been a beautiful experience and it's been the highlight of my year. The other thing has been my artwork. I really went deep into making art this year, whether it's painting and learning about painting or whether it's drawing geometric art. So those are the two things, and I could list 10 things. I'm just giving you an example for this particular question. Once you have your 10 things, I double dare you to do a one-minute dance party for each highlight. I know that sounds silly to you, but here's why I'm telling you this. It's because when you have a one-minute dance party for each highlight, you're using your body as a way to really pull in the good from your year into your body. Any ritual that you will do will always fall flat if you don't involve your body. And a lot of, at least the Western world, involves a lot of heady, intellectual, mental-based things. And it's never really embodied, which means we intellectualize everything without having wisdom. And a dance party, a one-minute dance party for each highlight, is a beautiful, simple, joyous way to bring that into your body. Now you can even get creative and choose a specific song intentionally for each highlight. So if I had a song for my podcast and I wanted to have a dance party for the podcast, I would probably choose an Enya song. And I would dance for a minute to Enya for my podcast and just as a way to celebrate that this happened. Yes, this happened. If you're the type to struggle with naming 10 things, I would just say take it slow. Every day for the next week until the next episode, name two things per day, and slowly work your way up to 10 things because I can assure you, everyone has 10 highlights. Everyone does, even if it's something as simple as there's a massive rose bush on my patio that bloomed a lot of roses this year, and that truly was a highlight of my year. So that's an example too. It doesn't have to be these big things, it can just be things that feel like they are the highlight of your life. Okay, so that's question one. Question two, what brought you peace? Peace. What who are your helpful allies, your supporting cast? Notice I'm not asking you what you liked, I'm asking what brought you peace. So if you have trouble with understanding that question, because sometimes we don't really know what brings us peace, first really identify the word peace and how it feels in your body. So when you say the word peace, how do you feel? For me, in case you didn't hear it, I just took a deep breath. So for me, it would be what felt like a deep breath, or like I took a deep breath this year. You might just choose to close your eyes and think of the word peace or just say the word peace a few times. And whatever that feeling feels like in your body, think of what brought you that feeling this year. And it doesn't have to be 10 things. The 10 things was only for the first question. The second question, it can be one or 50 things, how many things you want to name. But the reason we identify what brought you peace is because this might be something that you can lean on even in your next year, or it can be something you build on for your next few years. Because peace in a world like ours is almost a rebellion. It's almost a form of activism to be at peace in this kind of in this kind of world. So for me, just to give you some examples, my home, the current home I live in, the way I've designed it, I've designed it so intentionally that it really brings me a lot of peace. Every time I walk in, it's like I'm taking a deep breath. Everything from the particular type of blankets that I use to the way the colors of my home, it really brings me peace. The other thing that brought me peace is the amount of money that I have saved and having this huge savings and investments that I have. My good financial sense has brought me a lot of peace this year, especially in a year where I lost my main source of income. And that really brought me peace. Nature brought me peace, my dog brought me peace. And so now I know what in my life I can build on, and what in my life I can grow that will support me in 2026 and beyond. So write those down. The third question is what required my courage? Where did I show it? The reason this question is important is because sometimes we look back and think, oh, that was so easy. Yeah, the hindsight is 2020, and in in the grand scheme of things, it was fine. I don't know what I was stressing about. Just because a few months later, after the incident that happened that was difficult, you find yourself thinking that it was easy, that does not mean it was easy. In the moment it wasn't easy. In the moment it wasn't a piece of cake. It was something that really triggered you. It was something that required you to push through so many levels of resistance just to get there. And this act of courage can go unacknowledged because very often if it happens in the blink of an eye. You choose to have courage and then you do it. And I would like you to go through your year and really think about what required your courage, truly required your courage, and how you would define courage, not how other people would define courage. For example, for me, putting paint to canvas is terrifying because I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect the second I start doing it. There is no learning curve for me. There's only a straight line upward. There's only a 90-degree line. There is no learning curve. And so for me to put paint on a canvas, it's terrifying because it's like, what if I make a mistake? What if what I make doesn't look very good? What am I going to do about it? That takes a lot of courage. And of course, starting this podcast took a whole lot of courage, a whole lot of resistance. I had to move through. And again, I go through that in episode one if you're looking for inspiration. But that's what I mean by it can be something as simple as that. And I feel like a lot of artists would be able to resonate with that because it's something I've seen a lot of people talk about, which that first brush stroke, that first drawing, can be insanely terrifying. And so the fourth question is what went well? You might think it's similar to the questions above, but I assure you it's not. And you'll see. You'll see as you actually do the exercise. But what went well? What did you like? What went well? Just note that down. Question five, where were the seeds of potential sown? And try not to repeat what you wrote above. Or if you already are going to repeat it, write down specifically what you mean by the seed that was sown of potential. Here we are analyzing that even if it's not realistic of this potential coming into being, it is available. This potential is there. So one of the things that was a seed of potential that was sown this year for me is me going into my health. And me going into my health and my well-being has led me into women's health and what it means to be a woman and how to really manage my health as a woman. Because that's not something that's easy to find. And that seed of potential was sown this year. I don't know where that will lead me. I don't fancy myself becoming a doctor or anything, but I do feel like I will at least be speaking about it quite a bit. Or I will be helping my clients with it, or I will be doing something to really, or I'll just be using it in my own health and getting deeper into it. But that's what I mean by a seed of potential. And I'm just recognizing that it's there. I'm not trying to figure it all out. I'm just recognizing that this seed was sown this year. Of course, another easy one is this podcast. The seed of this podcast was sown. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if this podcast is going to go bust or if I'm going to get big sponsors. I don't know. I don't know. But the potential has been sown this year. My artwork is a potential that was sown this year, specifically my painting and my drawing. And that led to me creating a new offering, a new one-on-one offering, which is a sacred tattoo experience. Because all the artwork that I've done over the years, I finally felt like it was time to give it as an offering for someone to do it in a sacred way and have it tattooed on their body or just have it be their sacred art. And that was a potential that was sown this year and already sprouted just a little bit this year with the sacred tattoo offering. So are you getting what I'm saying here? We're just recognizing seeds of potential. Question six. What did you learn? What is the wisdom you got this year? Now maybe you read it in a book somewhere and the quote really stuck with you, as in my case, and I'll tell you a few of them that stuck with me. Or maybe it was an experience you had and you just became a little bit wiser for it. Maybe you can't even put it in words, but the point is that it happened. So for me, my wisdom of the year was I don't know where I heard this, so forgive me for not for not knowing who said this. But they said, give where you love. So wherever you love, that's where you give. And that's how this podcast came about, because I love spirituality, I love being vital from the inside out. I love that. So that's where I chose to give through the podcast. You might love building, you might love putting things together, and so maybe you give little wood carvings to people on Christmas. And so you're giving where you love. I'm so sorry. That might have been a really bad example. But I was thinking of a carpenter in my head when I said builder. And you might make little wooden coasters. I don't know, but like wherever you love, that's where you give. My other piece of wisdom that I learned this year is my work is a gift to me. It is not an expense. This is something I learned from Bella Lively. And to see my work as not something that I have to struggle for or struggle at and make my blood sweat in tears for and have it be a gift to me instead, that completely shifted the energy of how I do my work in the world. Because it no longer means that I have to put myself down or I have to make myself less just so that I can sell product, just so that I can cater to my clients, just so that I can do anything, really. It's a gift to me. And I never thought of it that way, that my work could be a gift to me. And the other piece of wisdom I got from this year just by observing what has happened is when I don't trust myself, that's when I have the most grief. That's when I feel the most heartbreak, is when I didn't trust myself. So I always have to find ways to share because to be generous makes me happy. It keeps me in the flow of life and it keeps me relating to everything around me. It feels like I have a place to belong whenever I share. So these are all my little pieces of wisdom. And hopefully that triggers something in you to recognize in your year. And the last thing, the last question is three things that you appreciate about your year. Just three things that you just appreciate about your year. And the reason I'm ending with this question is because now we're wrapping your ritual up with a bow. And wrapping up any ritual with appreciation is always a good, potent, spiritual, magical way of bringing your self fully into being. And some might say even manifesting your desires. Okay, so that concludes the journaling part. Now we're going into the active ritual part. And the way I want to show you this part is by giving you this idea of different elements on the planet and their inspired rituals. So for example, just taking the four elements: water, earth, wind, and fire. I'm gonna give you rituals to support each element depending upon how you're feeling. Maybe you're feeling fiery today and you want to do a fire-based ritual. Maybe you're feeling watery and you want to do a water-based ritual. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you feel like doing it and it excites you and you have an affinity to it. For example, if you were to do a fire ritual, I would say that take everything you wrote down. Now, first of all, before you do fire rituals, make sure that everything that you wrote down is kept as a record somewhere because we are going to do burning rituals with fire. So you don't want to burn the record of what you have. You can even do this ritual twice. The first time that you did it, it's for record purposes. The second time you do it, it's to burn it. You can copy your answers because I really want you to have a record of what you wrote. So now with a fire ritual, you can take everything you wrote down and burn it. And the reason you're burning it is you're burning it with the intention of sending it up into the world, into the heavens, into the universe. You're sending it like a prayer, saying, Yes, thank you. All this good that happened in my year, thank you. Yes, I acknowledge this. And I am sending its essence to you as a thank you. You can burn it and rub ashes of what you have burned on yourself in a way of saying, Yes, I receive it even more into through my skin into my body. That's another way you can use fire. Another way is to collect all the ashes, make an anointing oil out of it. So maybe put olive oil into the ashes, and you make a kind of an anointing oil. So whenever you do your rituals for the entirety of your next year, you're taking that anointing oil and anointing yourself, just dabbing it lightly on your skin, anywhere you prefer, on your third eye, on your collarbone, on your chest area, and then you do your rituals all throughout 2026 or the next year, whenever you're listening to this. Isn't that amazing? Don't you feel the beauty of that? You're taking all the good of the previous year, encapsulating it into an oil, and using that as your sacred oil, your life being the holy thing with which you anoint yourself with. I feel like I'm gonna cry. But do you feel the beauty of that? Oh my gosh. An earth-based inspired ritual that you could do. That everything you just wrote down, again, make sure you have a record of it, then copy it onto seed paper, so paper that has seeds on it, and then bury it in the ground somewhere. And then over the year, over your next year, those seeds will sprout from everything you have written down. So you can even put that in wild soil, you can, which I don't recommend because you don't really know the biodiversity of the area unless you do and you can plant them. You can plant them in a pot and then watch those sprouts grow. If you are using a water-based ritual, you can take everything you wrote down and cover your glass of water, or put your glass of water on top of everything you've written down, or you can take what you've written down and wrap it around the water glass or jug. The intention being that every good that you've had this year, you're charging the water with this good. And then after four weeks or however long a time you like, you can then drink the water or sip on the water throughout the next four weeks as you're doing your year-end ritual. You're drinking your good, you're really imbibing it. And so this becomes your holy water. Oh my god, I think I'm gonna cry again. This becomes your holy water. It's the water that has been charged with your good of the year. And of course, if you're doing it over the span of weeks, put your water in the fridge when it's covered with all your goods. So you can just keep sipping on it. You can make teas with that water and drink it ceremonially. You can make your coffee in the morning with that water. You see what I'm saying? Do you feel the beauty of what I am telling you? It's so beautiful and it's so potent. So stay tuned for the next three episodes. We will be talking about releasing, delving into the mystery, and manifesting your 2026 all in order. I'm so excited to share this with you. So excited. All right, my beautiful, lovely people. May you see the dignity of your year. May you deepen it, may you learn from it, and may you turn it into fertilizer for all your years to come.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

Much love to you. Until next time.